It's been awhile since I've done this. I guess things have just gotten a little too crazy lately, and I haven't really even had time to write a short entry.
My uncle John died on Wednesday. It wasn't a shock, he had had the disease ALS and had been in considerable pain for some time. But nevertheless, he was my favorite and closest uncle, and one can never be prepared for the death of someone so close.
I had never lost anyone in my family. It's a strange experiance, really. In my heart, I know he's finally at peace. But that other part of me can't believe that anyone so vivacious and kind hearted could be so quickly stolen from this life. He had so much left to live for- his children, his wife, his old age. Life had a lot to offer him yet. But in spite of this, I never heard him complain. He never felt cheated. He faced life with a grace and dignity that I have never seen before. And throughout it all he was still able to laugh. Still able to be a good daddy. Still able to touch so many lives. His is a loss that I don't think anyone in my family will ever really get over. But that's not to say that we aren't all somewhat relieved that the inevitable has occured. He is in a better place now than any of us can fathom, watching over us all until we are together again.
With John's death, I think I have tried to become a little more aware of those that I love most around me. each and everyone of them is an incomparable gift to me. I guess I just realize that there is never a guarentee on how long we will blessed with life, and to let any of it pass unnoticed would be a blatant and unforgivable waste. And I don't know if I ever really let the people in my life know how much they mean to me. I try, of course. But you reach a point where simple words and affirmations seem futile and petty in light of all that could be said. The greatness of the emotions and affection I feel towards these people is almost too big to be described, and nothing I can say will ever really articulate those feelings. So even as I stuggle to make my true sentiments known, and try just as diligently to add a little light and happiness to the lives around my own, I still feel as though there is so much more to be done.
My uncle John died on Wednesday. It wasn't a shock, he had had the disease ALS and had been in considerable pain for some time. But nevertheless, he was my favorite and closest uncle, and one can never be prepared for the death of someone so close.
I had never lost anyone in my family. It's a strange experiance, really. In my heart, I know he's finally at peace. But that other part of me can't believe that anyone so vivacious and kind hearted could be so quickly stolen from this life. He had so much left to live for- his children, his wife, his old age. Life had a lot to offer him yet. But in spite of this, I never heard him complain. He never felt cheated. He faced life with a grace and dignity that I have never seen before. And throughout it all he was still able to laugh. Still able to be a good daddy. Still able to touch so many lives. His is a loss that I don't think anyone in my family will ever really get over. But that's not to say that we aren't all somewhat relieved that the inevitable has occured. He is in a better place now than any of us can fathom, watching over us all until we are together again.
With John's death, I think I have tried to become a little more aware of those that I love most around me. each and everyone of them is an incomparable gift to me. I guess I just realize that there is never a guarentee on how long we will blessed with life, and to let any of it pass unnoticed would be a blatant and unforgivable waste. And I don't know if I ever really let the people in my life know how much they mean to me. I try, of course. But you reach a point where simple words and affirmations seem futile and petty in light of all that could be said. The greatness of the emotions and affection I feel towards these people is almost too big to be described, and nothing I can say will ever really articulate those feelings. So even as I stuggle to make my true sentiments known, and try just as diligently to add a little light and happiness to the lives around my own, I still feel as though there is so much more to be done.
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